If you are a mother with young children, you almost certainly received something saying you're the best mom ever. Either that, or they are upset with you because you took away their lollipop and they think you're the worst.
This morning, on this particular Mother's Day, even though he worked Easter, my husband had to go in to work at six a.m. And like always, I had church at 8:30. I woke up at seven, only to discover the big kids had let the dog out of her room, but not outside. She had peed on the floor by the door. Then I went upstairs, where I found my three year old had wet the bed. Next door, I got my two year old up, and before I could help her up on the potty, she peed on the floor by the toilet.
I thought my pee troubles were over by the time we reached church (late!).
Near the end of sacrament meeting at church, the three bigger kids all went up to sing me a Mother's Day song. I was getting all teary eyed thinking about how wonderful it would be, because this is truly my favorite part of Mother's Day, hands down.
That's when my two year old began to freak out, and I DO mean freak out, about not being able to go up to sing. (They start with that in our church around three years when they graduate from the "nursery" into the "primary" program.) She WOULD NOT calm down, so I spent the rest of sacrament meeting out in the hallway (or outside entirely) and missed hearing the song, getting a rose and anything else that the church group did for mothers today.
Then during a very long, very exhausting nursery day (I run the two year old nursery program at church), one of the kids peed on the floor there.
Which is how, after a few hours of exhausting mothering, I came to think about who really was the greatest mother of all time.
It certainly isn't me.
I've always kind of thought that Mary had it easy. After all, her kid was perfect! But today I gave some thought to Mary's path. She was chosen to be the Mother of God. As such, she was certainly a beautiful and worthy daughter of God. She then had the task of raising a perfect child. I am not sure that was the bed of roses I always imagined it must have been. Thinking back, this little nugget was there in the scriptures all along. Think about the story of when Jesus stayed all day long talking in Jerusalem at age twelve. His parents had no idea where he was! They didn't find him for THREE days according to Luke chapter two, at which point he was apparently just casually sitting with some doctors asking them questions and listening to what they had to say.
I would have lost my mind. This makes me believe very strongly that Mary was honestly the best mother in the world.
When you think about your life (as a mother or just a woman), think about how much you judge yourself. Think about how much others judge you! Why just this weekend, I had some delightful octagenarians tell me that I had "brought my children into their hotel and let them come down to breakfast and run wild, effectively ruining the hotel, their furniture and everyone else at the hotel's breakfast." I felt pretty judged.
I am sure that most of you have felt judged, but even if you haven't, I bet you judge yourself. I lose my temper, I fail to complete basic tasks. I fail to complete the extra tasks. I am not a pinterest mom. I lose count of the ways I fall short, which is probably a failing in itself. My girls frequently have hair that is not combed. I miss out on chances to teach, I miss nights of scripture study. I use bad language on occasion (like the worst word of all--STUPID!) My children remind me when I fall short.
I can only imagine that Mary, the mother of Jesus, fell short as well. I think it would be very difficult to raise a young child who was perfect and I developed some empathy for her in that, today. But my true thoughts went to Mary as a mother of an adult Jesus.
Have any of you mothers had a child who became injured? A child you watched be bullied at school? A child who had trouble making friends? All of these things are so much worse as a mother than they were as a child experiencing them. I am filled with rage if someone is mean to my child. If my baby is hurt, I have a strong desire to end that child's pain or suffering, but sometimes there is nothing we can do. I have suffered with my babies in their sickness, in their injury, and in their hurt feelings. I have even suffered the loss of an unborn child. (Miscarriage) I know many mothers have suffered far worse things than me. I am not at all trying to compare.
But none of our pain or our hurt can compare to the sorrow Mary must have felt when her perfect child, a performer of miracles, a God by birthright, was taken by wicked men, sentenced to death, whipped, tormented, mocked, and then hung on a cross. But she was there, watching him during most of this, supporting him as best she could, loving him every second of it. She had to know the importance of his sacrifice, she had to see the brilliance of his light, but notwithstanding those things, watching this must have torn her apart. The best mother ever, the mother of Jesus. She is an example to me.
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| Murillo's famous painting of the Crucifixion, with Mary at his feet |
I am so blessed in my life, on this Mother's Day and on all other days, to be a mother. It brings me joy, it brings me pain, it brings me accomplishment and it teaches me sacrifice. I would like to wish every single mother, and every single woman who is not a mother on this earth a very Happy Mother's Day. To me, Mother's Day is not about growing a child in your womb, but it's about the divine spark within each woman on earth that helps to uplift us, and all of mankind. I am so grateful for my mother, my grandmothers and my mother in law.
I hope we can all take joy today, even when we are wiping up pee, in our divine calling as mothers. I also desperately hope we can all be a little less judgey with our friends, our neighbors and our family. Maybe we can go a little easier on ourselves, too. We love our kids, and we are doing our best. I think the real title of greatest Mother of all time goes to Mary. But I believe that we can all look in the mirror and see the very best mother for our kids every single day.
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