1. The general principle of Halloween kind of offends me: I mean, there's no real religious point of it at all. So there's no underlying theme. And let's face it. Halloween is all about pretending you're someone you aren't and asking (relative) strangers (or complete strangers) for handouts. It is all REALLY selfish. The kids' PARENTS are ostensibly buying candy to hand out to other kids, but the kids don't really get involved there and so they basically just have this holiday all about themselves (dressing up) and GREED. I won't even get into my opinion on adult Halloween parties. I just have to mention that I think the adult female costumes get more appalling every year. WEAR CLOTHES! Good grief. Have some respect for yourself. You aren't a piece of meat up on the auction block.
2. Trunk or Treat: I don't know if your church does one of these. Ours does every year. (You pass out candy from the back of your TRUNK in the parking lot. It's like an expedited Halloween night that happens early. Your kids get two passes at filling their bags with candy.) It's usually accompanied by a party and/or carnival. It's always a little on the late side for my very young children, but it's usually well done and the kids have a blast. Why am I such a stick in the mud?
Here's why! The church is supposed to teach kids, among other things, a basic sense of values. Decency, ethics. At the trunk or treat, I had LOTS of kids coming around multiple times. Some of them even boasted to me it was their second or third time. I'm thinking, WHERE IS YOUR PARENT who should be telling you this IS NOT OKAY?! I also had kids, when I said, "Pick any two pieces of candy," who would take a whole handful. I'd have to grab their hand and say, "NO, I said any TWO pieces." I was really disappointed. Thankfully my kids weren't among those, but they are pretty young still.
3. THE BIG DISAPPOINTMENT: Tonight my husband, like most Halloweens, had to work. He's an ER physician and he has to work nights and holidays a lot. So, I took my kids trick-or-treating and because they are young, we were back home by 7 or so. Knowing I would be out and no one here on duty, I turned on our porch light, left a tremendously large bowl of candy sitting on a stool with a sign that said, "Please take Two." It had decorations around it. A tombstone that lit up, lit up plastic pumpkins and a ghost.
I let the kids eat two pieces of candy and then we headed up to brush teeth and go to bed. We'd done most of our preparation prior to going out. (They normally go to bed at 6:30 so I had already done scriptures, stories, etc.) As we passed the front door at 7:15 the kids said "Wow, mom, look at all that candy in the bowl." I looked. It was basically still full. We live in a small neighborhood (35 houses or so) and they are all on one to two acre lots. We don't get much Halloween traffic. I saw a car a few houses down, and pardon me if I say it was very, very run down. I surmised it was not a car from our neighborhood, but hey, there's nothing wrong with that. I saw kids getting out, running up to the neighbors and then running back to the car.
No prob, I thought. I will go put the kids to bed and leave the sign up and the bowl out so they can get some candy. I came back down at 7:31. I looked at my clock to see how long bed time took. 16 minutes. I noticed something was awry outside. The stool was knocked over. I went out to see if a cat knocked it over.
Unless the cat wanted candy, it wasn't a cat. All the candy was gone, except a few scattered pieces on the ground. The stool was knocked over, the decorations were broken and knocked around. Someone's parents let them take about 8 full BAGS worth of candy in a Halloween cauldron sized bowl and fill their bags with it, and then completely mistreat my decorations. I'm assuming it was that car and not one of my neighbors. GOSH I hope so. I was so disappointed.
So that sums it up. Everything I want to believe about human nature is completely deflated every single Halloween. I think any holiday that brings out that kind of behavior in people is a waste. I just don't think the sugar buzz joy of my kids is offset by the downsides and the bad lessons it teaches.
Does that mean I won't let my kids do Halloween anymore? NO. I haven't reached that point yet. But I will absolutely keep telling them 100 times each Halloween, "Did you say thank you? Please go back and say thank you." And "No, just take one please. This is a holiday of giving. Don't be selfish." And I will keep making them give half their candy to their dad (knowingly) who has a sweet tooth so they understand sharing.
But I don't think I'll stop being disappointed by Halloween as a holiday. I just... kinda of can't stand it! There needs to be a Halloween phrase (like Bah Humbug) for people who don't like it!!
Well, since Halloween is one of my favorite holidays ever...our perceptions don't resonate at all.
ReplyDeleteEvery year, the Sacrament meeting after the ward Halloween party is about the best attended one all year. Why? The Friday or Sat before, people were together in a cheery mood, letting their hair hang down and they mingle better in this festive atmosphere more than just about any other type of activity. People associate themselves with each other anew, identify themselves as a group who belongs to each other and a few come back to church. I get the biggest kick out of people's costumes.
The candy-giving is about other's generosity, not a kid's greed. It too is part of a festive holiday tradition which every child i've ever known loves. There are plenty of other life lessons over which to teach giving and selflessness. Let them eat cake, It's one of the few days out of the year they do.
The biggest thrill among my children was being able to pretend for a day they were someone else. It was living out a fantasy, it was creativity. It was just plain fun. My children have many lasting, fun memories of that holiday, so do I.
OK Bridget, I'm chalking this up to ....you're really pregnant and EVERYTHING is 14x harder when you're that far along. Stuff that bugs you now will roll off your back later. Sorry you had to do Halloween alone! As for the bratty kids...yep...you can't leave the porch to the honor system. Sad but true. Hope you sleep well.