Every child goes through stages. It usually follows the general path of lie around, then scoot/crawl, then walk. Emmy added a step. She shuffles places on her knees. In this way, she's close to the ground so she never falls, and she can still carry things with her hands, as a child who is walking can do.
Now, obviously it has some handicaps. She is really, really slow. Also, her knees probably get tired, not really being intended for that kind of use. Finally, she wears out her pants (and gets them dirty) and/or skins her knees. That last one bothers me a lot more than her.
There are some obvious parallels to be drawn here. I think there have been lots of time in my life when I needed to take a little risk--be willing to fall instead of shuffling around on the ground. If she would just be willing to fall for a few days, she's discover the world is so much easier in so many ways. And she could run and play with her brother and sister.
But even more, lately, I've been thinking of her development. Her pediatrician informed me that there isn't anything they can really do from a physical therapy standpoint because she CAN and DOES walk on her own--when she feels like it. Usually when she's being specifically praised AND when the ground is flat and clear, like in our living room. Until she has the desire to do it all the time, we're kind of stuck.
Usually being on your knees is a reference made to prayer. I even had someone tell me they were sending "knee mail" my way when my mom had surgery a few weeks ago. I had to think about it a bit, but I realized it was a really clever way to say "I'll pray for you." In this case though, being on your knees means something else.
I have often had a particular sin that I really liked. I think most of us have our favorite sin or sins. It's that one that is really hard for you to kick. It could be anything--alcohol abuse, smoking, porn, greed, envy, gossip, and so on. I could go on and on. You know what yours is. If you don't, start some self evaluation. ;)
If you're like me, you've made valiant efforts in the past to rid yourself of that sin. Over the years, I have often succeeded. Then I've realized that I had something else I didn't even think about I needed to work on, because of course, we are all works in progress. But when you're trying to rid yourself of a certain special sin, that is near and dear to you, you're a lot like Emmy. You're shuffling around on your knees. It's comfortable. You know it. It feels right. And it's easy.
Standing up and keeping your knees clean is scary. It's hard. Emmy always wants to hold my hand while she's walking. I'm happy to help her but to gain true independence, to be free, she needs to walk alone. I know that. The big difference in this analogy is that WE DON'T EVER have to walk alone. We can, and frankly, should, hold our Savior's hand forever, at all times. He's given us a gift--the Holy Ghost, which we can have with us always, to uplift us, to keep us from falling down, to help us keep our knees clean. He will gladly hold our hands forever to keep us steady, to keep us walking.
And yet, we fall back down to our knees just like Emmy and shuffle around. I am so glad for the atonement which will let us clean our pants. Which will lift us back up over and over as we finally learn to kick our bad habits one at a time.
I look forward to Emmy walking around like a pro, all the time. I also look forward to the time when I am willing to be humble enough to take my Savior's hand in everything--and spend all my time walking around, or even running, instead of shuffling around here on Earth. I am so glad my Heavenly Father is patient with me. It helps me remember to be patient with my little people.
Beautiful and insightful. Thank you.
ReplyDelete